Awareness of genitalia, exhibitionism and femininity

Exhibitionism, clothing and femininity

And a new video

This is what I've been asked to show: me in blue jeans
and my penis peeking out of the fly. And because I'm
an exhibitionist, I enjoy to show this to you.

Feedback

I get lots of emails and I'm slow in answering, I apologize that. Sometimes I forget to answer and the emails get buried under dozens of emails. Then I get emails from same-name persons, some send me emails from different addresses, I can get several emails from one person etc. So I find it difficult to be up to date. Today, I spent several hours to answer your emails, even some very old ones. I can't comment every thing and don't answer to every mail. But I promise to read every email and usually answer "soon" if it's about a health issue or a younger person. Please, always tell me your age, it's important. It affects how I understand your questions and situation, how I answer and how I deal with sensitive information or media if you are very young. I'm responsible and respect the law.

I've got lots of feedback about clothing. You want to see me in my track pants and jeans and to read more about my exhibitionism. And seeing my penis peeking out of the jeans fly. Well, here you go then. I probably write about same things as I've written earlier, but I don't read my old posts.

I also have got several emails from young adults, who have watched my videos, and learned from them, in the Wikimedia Commons when they have were younger. They have been extremely grateful to me that I've shared my videos and that it has affected positively on their sexuality. I'm satisfied if others benefit from my exhibitionism.

Awareness of genitalia and exhibitionism

How aware you are of your sexuality affects a lot on your sexuality. It's a cycle. I was constantly aware of my genitals already at about age 10, I knew all the time if my little penis was causing a tiny bulge. This affected my sexuality and perhaps influenced on my exhibitionism. Then I became more aware of my sexuality and so on.

Me and track pants and femininity

When I was standing in front of the classroom from age 10 onward and wearing track pants, I was thinking if someone would notice the little bump. It was embarrassing and exciting at the same time, this caused a fear of getting erection as well, which was kind of exciting too but at that time I wasn't able to enjoy it. A visible erection would've been a laughing stock at that moment, or so I feared. (My preteen and early teen readers: if this sounds familiar, just let your penis erect, it's nothing catastrophic. If you are afraid of getting erect, it more probably will get erect.)

This probably was a preceding period of awakening of my exhibitionism. Since that I've felt arousing to wear track pants, they looked sexy and revealed shapes of the body and the bulge. Also there was an extra excitement: possible erection would be highly visible. At home I took underpants off and let the almost silky smooth fabric fondle my skin, buttocks and immaculate hairless and smooth scrotum and penis. At that time in the 80's there were not so many different types of sporting and outdoor pants as now, now it's arousing to have several different and even better choices.

I also liked at home, when I was alone, to be without pants. Then I walked here and there with my erection on, and every now and then went shortly near the windows knowing that someone might see me. When I noticed a pedestrian or a car, I hurried aside. I also masturbated 10-15 feet away from the windows and was observing if someone would go on the street and when necessary stepped aside so that I could observe the pedestrian and hide if he or she would have noticed me. Someone bypasser, or a busdriver perhaps, might have seen a glimpse of my 12-year-old erect penis, who knows.

In my teenage years I walked a lot, on sidewalks and forest tracks, often erection in the pants, sometimes making it less visible by putting hand in the pocket if I was too embarrassed. Sometimes without underwear showing the bulge even more clearly. I remember how the pants fondled my genitalia as I walked in a cool weather. When the penis got erect and the foreskin slided off the glans penis, the friction gave even more stimulation. Sometimes at dark I dropped my pants down and masturbated on a middle of a track or in a crossing of two tracks in the forest. There was a tiny but realistic chance of getting caught. I never got caught (there's always a possibility that someone watched secretly in a distance) but it wasn't the point, it probably would've been just an awkward situation. I've good memories from that time.

About 20 years ago I did this a lot, I walked with a track suite on so that my flaccid penis was visibly bulging and sometimes my penis pointing upwards so that the whole package was distinguishable, it was gazed at by some bypassers. It wasn't too explicit and I didn't have to try to hide it when the bypassers didn't belong to the target audience. It was just there to see and I could walk around without too much embarrassment. Sometimes I went public with a cameltoe, a moose knuckle, it's a good alternative to an impressively bulging erection when you are not in the mood of showing too much. The balls may get a nice massage as well while walking when there's a prominent cameltoe. I loved blue Adidas pants but I bought also white ones as they were somewhat transparent. Girls' heads turned and they stared at my butt when I had g-strings as underwear. It was easy to notice whether you had underwear, you could literally see them, or whether you didn't have. It was exciting to go public without underwear in those white pants.

These pants were pretty revealing. I had an older pair of white
Adidas pants that were even more transparent and better fitting.

I loved these pants as they allowed a prominent cameltoe.
Would you find this arousing, amusing or tasteless if
you would see this on a bypasser?

Nowadays there are more options than earlier.
These pants, for example, are of a pretty thin material.

Here I'm without underwear 14 years ago. Males usually don't keep their pants this way and maybe it's a reason for that females have stared at my butt. This may be more a females' way of keeping pants but I feel that I've a feminine side in my personality. Although I'm fully straight. I've had several female friends and find it easy to be in social contact with them and if there are any feminine shapes in my hip area I definitely like to highlight them. Are there? Many straight males have said that they find my images arousing or my shapes aesthetically or artistically attractive (even to the point where they are confused about this in relation to their sexual orientation). So I've wondered if I've feminine shapes that the straight males find attractive? Please comment!

Do I have feminine shapes in my hip area? Maybe not much,
but I would like to think so. Perhaps it's a feature of the
exhibitionism that I would like to be appealing to a
possibly wide audience.

I've enjoyed when the pants have revealed the shapes and the details of my genitalia. Round shapes of the testicles, particular shape of the glans penis etc. And how the friction from the pants feels on these (hairless) body parts. And because of my feminine side I've also imagined how I would've felt it if I was a girl? The fabric tenderly rubbing my hairless labia... A cameltoe, the central seam of the pants sunk between the labia, touching slightly the clitoris, bypassers staring at the cameltoe. I get wet and pull the pants even higher, now the clitoris being stimulated more, I come and groan and twitch a bit and watch around if someone saw. I notice that the pants are wet down there, with a poker face I walk back home...

I think my hand is somewhat feminine. Would you prefer
my hand in touching your genitalia or a big and hairy one?

I've also tried to cum while walking (wearing track pants or similar) without touching my penis. I've never succeeded but I've tried it only a few times. This is a thing I must practise.

Me and jeans

Blue jeans, preferably Levi's button fly jeans, are my favorite. Erection is not very visible through the jeans but a bulge when you are sitting may be huge. My jeans bulges have gathered numerous gazes in many occasions where I've been sitting, for example in a subway car. If the jeans are tight-fitting, there's some pressure to the genitalia. Then it's easy to be aware of them which causes easily sexual arousal. And it's like a ball ring around your penis and balls when you take them out of a partially opened button fly. Sometimes while driving a car and wearing jeans the sun has directly shone and warmed my genitalia, I've got very aroused because of the sensations. The jeans in the next images are not Levi's's.

This is a three-quarter erection in my jeans.
It's not so prominent but maybe noticeable.

This is mainly a ball bulge.

I liked these jeans as the buttons were partially visible.
They drew attention.

Not even having an erection.

Decreasing awareness, age and exhibition

In the last years my awareness of my genitalia has decreased a lot and I haven't exhibited myself very much lately, it's maybe stress and ageing... Mostly I've done it here on the Internet. I've decided that I have to do it more next summer as I still look young for my age. I've a feeling that it would be not so interesting to young adult bypassers if someone who is exhibiting looks "old". I may be wrong but I think now that I've a few years of time (maybe until I'm 50) when I may look sexually desirable to younger bypassers. In the real world the face and the appearance are important things when you encounter briefly. This age thing may be my frailty here as well as I think that younger readers might not be sexually interested in and aroused by images and videos of a male of my age, as you can't see my baby face here, but I know basing on the surveys that so far I'm wrong as females of all ages are considering me arousing and wanting more sexual images and videos to the blog. And males too. So I may have been misthinking about this age issue. Still, if something could raise my self-esteem, it would be feedback from my young female readers, but they hardly ever write to me. I can assure you that when I next time take a video of myself, I'll be extremely excited as I realize now how many various people get aroused by seeing me.

A new masturbation video

I uploaded to Wikimedia Commons a new testicular masturbation video. This time, I didn't undress my underpants. They were see-through, though. I asked myself, do I every time need to show everything? It might be more intriguing if I didn't show everything. Maybe I sometime do a new video, where my underpants are not see-through and show just tiny glimpses of my genitalia.

This time, when I lowered my pants, I was embarrassingly aware of the fact that tens of thousands of preteens and early teens will see me doing it, with great attention and curiosity, many of them getting aroused and wanking. This is not why I'm doing this, and it feels strange, but it's a part of the game. When my videos are uploaded, it makes no difference to me, who are watching them. But lately, I've paid more attention to this, earlier I didn't think much about this. Maybe I'm getting old and I've got so much feedback that has made me realize this.

File:45-year-old male does testicular masturbation.webm - Wikimedia Commons